


we carried the echo

by lordbhreanna (orphan_account)



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cal's pov, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Post-Game(s), Redemption, Slow Burn, Trilla's POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lordbhreanna
Summary: “You should have left me to die.”Guilt was written all over Cere’s eyes, the same look she had given her in the interrogation chamber as she kneeled in front of her to apologize. But Trilla felt something else, a pair of eyes piercing at the back of her neck. Cal Kestis just stood there, a silent bystander once more.There was conflict, a clash of emotions inside him. Trilla could read them clearly in the Force, as it surrounded them. But she felt his pity, too, and it unsettled Trilla just as much.-Trilla wakes up in Cordova's abode in Bogano with the chance of a new life at the tip of her fingers and a myriad of complicated, unknown feelings.[ON HIATUS, note inside]
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri | Second Sister
Comments: 31
Kudos: 190





	1. Chances

**Author's Note:**

> UPDATE (17/04/2020): I'm very sorry to abandon this fic, because I really enjoyed the ship and the characters, but after these months I just don't see myself coming back to Star Wars to write myself anything any time soon. So, thank you all for your nice comments, kudos and bookmarks on this story. I'm not deleting the work, just orphaning it, since both chapters are more or less independent. Fortunately, there are more awesome caltrilla fic writers out there, so go and enjoy their fics <3
> 
> * * *
> 
> UPDATE (02/01/2020): I'm making this note because, sadly, Star Wars is bringing more sadness than joy these days; even if JFO was the best Star Wars we got in 2019. That means the fic will remain on hiatus for now. I think I'll come back to it because I still love the characters and the ship, but right now I'd rather focus on fandoms that make me happy. Thank you all for your comments and kudos, and I hope I can continue this story in the future!
> 
> * * *
> 
> This is kind of an experiment for me, because it's not plot-driven at all and I'm kind of winging it. 
> 
> It's a series of linear vignettes centered around this AU post-game scenario where Cere and Cal manage to rescue Trilla before she dies at the end of the story. Then they fly to Bogano so that she can recover and use Cordova's old hideout as temporary housing for an injured Trilla. Each chapter will explore how things develop from there through short scenes or moments, and it'll be focused on the characters and their relationship. Of course, there'll be romance eventually! I can't promise a regular schedule, but I'll try to update as frequently as I can. That being said, hope you enjoy it!
> 
> (The title is a reference to KOTOR II and one of its best characters, Bao-Dur ❤)

The invisible grasp around her throat was followed by the burning pain of a lightsaber’s blade, and it was the last memory she could find in her mind. Everything felt numb and distant after that. Perhaps this was death. She found herself feeling content with the idea—death would mean the pain could stop.

But something tugged at her, as if a pair of hands were dragging her body out of the void. There was cold water and then an infinity of nothingness. A green hue shone against the black pit surrounding her. It burnt against her skin. 

Suddenly, she was no longer in the cold fortress of the Inquisitorius. Her lungs welcomed the recycled air of a ship—and that was the moment Trilla felt her heart pounding. The pain came soon after, until the green wrapped her like a vine. Then it quieted down, but Trilla knew it now. 

She was alive.

-

“You don't need to follow me on this one, but I can't abandon her. Not again.”

Cere’s voice sounded like an echo as she slipped out of unconsciousness. The air here was damper. The distant chirping of birds made it feel like some sort of rural place. She felt Cere’s presence beside her. It was warm, a heavy piece of cloth thrown over her, but every bone and muscle in her body was sore and aching.

Her eyes started to open.

“I know, Cere. But we talked about it and we're staying.” She recognized his voice immediately. Cal Kestis. Her eyelids opened up. “The Empire might still find you here. It's not completely safe,” he added. 

She took that as her cue. Struggling to sit up, Trilla cleared her throat to catch their attention.

“If this is Bogano, as I suspect, you need not to worry, Jedi. The location was only known by me and my garrison, and I believe you decimated them all,” she stated dryly, her eyes passing between both of them.

They looked at her perplexed. Cere stood up, bending her body to be at her level, a hand hovering over her shoulder.

“Trilla,” she sighed. There was relief in voice, and noticing it hurt her more than if it had been indifference. “You must have a lot of questions.”

Yes, she had. But it all boiled down to one.

“Why am I here?”

-

Cere told her the truth—she felt honesty in her words. She had grabbed her unconscious body in a mad attempt, as Cal had drawn Vader out of their way. Something twisted in her stomach as she explained, in simple terms, how it had all happened. How it had all seemed reasonable to her, even if it made no sense for Trilla.

“Have I become your prisoner, then?” she asked once her former master had finished.

The question took Cere aback.

“Of course not. You’re still injured. Once you heal, you can… go wherever you want.”

Trilla didn’t say anything, her hand covering her midriff in pain. She felt sick in her own skin, defeated and torn to pieces. 

“Why have you done all of this, Cere?” she blurted, almost like an accusation. “You already said your apologies.”

Death had felt welcoming, a chance to leave it all behind her. Cere had taken that from her now.

“Because you deserve another chance, Trilla,” she said, sadness in her tone. Trilla felt her palm covering her fist. “And it was my responsibility to grant you one.”

Looking away, Trilla slid her legs down the cot in an attempt to stand up. Something pricked in her eyes, but she didn’t shed any tears. Maybe she didn’t have any left.

“You should have left me to die.”

Guilt was written all over Cere’s eyes, the same look she had given her in the interrogation chamber as she kneeled in front of her to apologize. But Trilla felt something else, a pair of eyes piercing at the back of her neck. Cal Kestis just stood there, a silent bystander once more.

There was conflict, a clash of emotions inside him. Trilla could read them clearly in the Force, as it surrounded them. But she felt his pity, too, and it unsettled Trilla just as much.


	2. Padawan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her hate towards Cere had fed her, had sustained her these past years. It had been the only reason to exist. Now there was an empty hole, stripping her of the fuel that she had run on. The hate didn’t vanish—it transformed. What was left, then?

Escaping didn't cross her mind, not even once. Trilla recognized when she was out of options. Most of all, the sense of defeat weighed over her shoulders like a boulder. There just wasn't a point in trying to move from the bed where she had been placed—her body would not cooperate. Cere hadn't gone into detail about the severity of her injuries, but Trilla knew it went beyond superficial. She could move her arms and legs, as long as she endured the wave of pain. The lightsaber wound in her shoulder sent an aching bolt through her muscles every time she had dared to move. The slash across her back hurt like a thousand needles stabbing her spine. However, it wasn't the physical pain that affected her. She knew how to handle it. This was a different matter. 

The thought brought her back to the chamber. To the menacing shadow that lurked in the darkness, like a hound who had smelled her weakness. It made her gulp.

“It was him, right?” she blurted one night at Cere. 

Only one week had passed. Trilla was lying on her side on the cot, pretending to sleep, while Cere kept herself busy doing the same thing she had done since their arrival: tidying the abode like a desperate mother hen. Making Cordova’s abandoned hideout a habitable place once more.

She sensed Cere’s sudden tension, the noise from her frenzy stopped. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Vader,” Trilla answered curtly.

“You mean if it was him who hurt you?” Cere wondered skeptically, as if questioning Trilla’s state of mind.

Trilla propped herself on one elbow, throwing a cold glare to Cere.

“Was it _him_ who made you confess?” she spat, without trying to hide the pain.

The idea had been eating her away. It didn’t matter if someone like Vader had been the culprit of Cere’s betrayal, prying the location of her Padawan away from her mind. Just like she had done countless times in the past five year. It didn’t change a thing, did it? Trilla had always known that was what had happened—Cere had been weak-minded, putting her survival first. 

Then she had felt Vader’s aura, his cold fury and hate, like a black hole that could consume you at any instant. She had never faced him that close, never had experienced the darkness his very own presence poured like ichor over the Force itself.

Despite it all, Cere hadn’t bent her knee. Hadn’t become an Inquisitor. She had resisted, while Trilla had surrender herself to the pain. Had been consumed by it. 

Her hate towards Cere had fed her, had sustained her these past years. It had been the only reason to exist. Now there was an empty hole, stripping her of the fuel that she had run on. The hate didn’t vanish—it transformed. What was left, then?

Trilla didn’t have an answer, so she needed to ask the questions. To fish for a reason to exist beyond… everything.

“You’re right,” Cere added after a brief silence. “I fought back so much, Trilla. But I could do nothing against that… monster.”

_Monster_. The word stung hard, echoing in her mind. She had been called that too.

It was true, and for some reason his words hurt now.

“I’m so sorry, Trilla,” Cere said once more, her voice pleading. She stared at her, lips pursed together.

Trilla leaned her forehead against the heel of her hand, exhausted. 

“I always blamed your weakness for my fate,” she began, trying to make sense of her thoughts. “You betrayed us because you were selfish. A hypocrite. Now look at me,” she let out a breathed laugh. “I was the weakest, in the end.”

Cere rushed to her side, sitting next to her.

“You’re wrong. You’re stronger now than ever,” she said with the shadow of a smile, “because you have finally fought back.”

Trilla glared at her with squinted eyes, moving her hand away. “How can you be so certain? You don’t know that I’m not allied with Empire still. I could betray you.”

The smile bloomed on Cere’s face.

“No. The Trilla Suduri I know would never do that.” A hand touched her shoulder, forcing her to face Cere directly. “She was always her Master’s better self.”

For a passing moment, the woman sitting on that bed wasn’t the carcass of the Second Sister anymore—she was the young Jedi Padawan again.

Trilla did have some tears left, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kind comments, kudos and bookmarks ❤ I hope you enjoyed this one. It's mostly centered around Trilla and Cere - but I think it's important for Trilla's development to address the relationship. Next one it's going to be Cal's point of view!


End file.
